The War On Emily Dickinson

well, ahem...

2011-12-30T19:41:00.000-08:00

So it's been a while since I posted here. Three more indie novels have occurred, and at least three manuscripts have been written. My husband lost his thyroid in the interim, and this novel went from costing ninety-nine cents to free. All my ebooks are free now, and the downloads have been coming in nicely. Emily is up to 102 on Smashwords, 66 on Barnes & Noble as of the first of November and 32 on Sony as of Christmas Eve. Not that numbers are indicative of much, but that's over two hundred copies of that novel in, well, four hundred hands. I have no idea with iBooks, Diesel and Kobo; they seem only to note sold copies, but I'll happily take these numbers.

This novel is the only one I've made a print version for, ebooks are so much easier. We"ll see what happens in 2012, but I love reading this novel, either on my iTouch or the actual novel. It will always be special, my first indie release, one of my fave stories. Something about Marthe and Kell; what can I say? I love both of them!

on Barnes & Noble

2011-08-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

The dominoes keep falling. Still waiting for Sony and Kobo, and of course...

Amazon. Very soon I believe....

on iBooks!

2011-08-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

I downloaded it myself just today; other than having a double cover, it looks great! Can't wait to get another up there; I think that's going to be a habit...

this novel has shipped...

2011-07-28T15:28:00.000-07:00

To Apple and Barnes & Noble as of today. That's pretty exciting! I also received my proof copy of the print version, that was tremendous! I'll be making a second edition, mostly due to my choice of Lulu's least expensive options. I wanted to keep the costs of the novel reasonable, but having looked at it, maybe there's a reason it's so much less. But it was thrilling to see all the hard word in a solid form, headers and footers correct, everything looking so... official! Beautiful too...

Being a novelist is a joy, such a wonder! I can't wait for what happens next with this book, seeing it on various online sites, reviews from readers; really this has been a trip, wild, amazing, so personal but now out of my hands. Which after all the writing, editing, revising and formatting, is really where it needs to be.

premium catalog!!

2011-07-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, this novel has passed onto the Premium Catalog stage, which means within the next three weeks the ebook will be on many online retailers. Amazon is looking to join the Smashwords family in September, which will be the last piece in the Smashwords puzzle. With that in the stable, this novel and the rest within Smashwords' Premium Catalog will be widespread.

A daunting thought, also wonderful. While I'm committed to Smashwords for my ebook distribution, there's no question that with the novel in widespread outlets, anything could happen. I'm just so pleased my files uploaded without issue, and now it's in the World Wide Web pipeline. Such a thrill!

on my Kindle app...

2011-07-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

This novel looks lovely! I checked it out on my PC Kindle, but got around to testing it today on my iTouch, and lo and behold, it's perfect! I've read some Smashwords reviews, found some people had trouble, but so far, mine is very nice!

Once it's on iBooks, I'll test that version, but overall I am so pleased with the various formats. Makes it seem more real all the time!

train keeps a'rollin'...

2011-07-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

So last night I uploaded the files to Lulu, and behold... I have a print version available too!

I'm not going wide with this yet, as I want to see it first, make sure it's good. Also, I'm a little unhappy with a fat, ugly bar code on the back, sigh. But otherwise I am so eager to hold it in my hands. Last night I read some of the ebook, man, that's surreal too. That book is DONE. I will never edit it again!

Weird, getting back into the writing today, in that my novel is out there, for all to read. Also that it's an ebook, so new and exciting! It was so easy to format, maybe because I'm not a complicated person when using Word. Looking forward to what happens next, my husband can't wait to see reviews.

And me? Well, I just hope it touches someone. If some new reader finds it enjoyable, what more can I ask?

this book is published

2011-07-16T21:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, as of around 6 PM tonight, The War On Emily Dickinson went live on Smashwords. Quite thrilling, and it looks so wonderful! Such a thrill, and I can't wait to do another, but of course, for a while, it's all about Emily. Tomorrow we'll upload the Lulu files, but still, it's out, and anyone can read it. So so cool...

hyperlinks are fun!

2011-07-13T19:48:00.000-07:00

Well, both versions are done. That's odd to write, but it's true. My eldest and I did the hyperlinks in the ebook today, and now I just need to wait for my better half to return from a business trip. Then triggers will be pulled, and this novel will be published.

Funny to write that after months of planning, editing, revising and waiting. More waiting than I think is good for me, but it is. This isn't just about publishing a novel, but about another lesson learned, another reason to give thanks.

Thanks that I could write it, thanks for all who assisted in so many ways. Especially thanks to God for letting me translate this story. It's all I can do, and now that it's almost done, I smile, stretch my shoulders and say okay. what's next?

formatting all over the place

2011-07-10T20:47:00.000-07:00

Today I got a chunk done on the ebook, which felt very satisfying. Maybe I'm not as big of a bozo when it comes to techie stuff as I thought!

This will be a busy week; finishing all formatting, and the cover. My future son-in-law is in charge of that creative endeavor, and I love what he's sorted. Really, I can't be more pleased with how all is falling into place. Blessings abound with this novel, and in a few weeks, all the hard work will come to fruition.

And then I'll get another in the pipeline! That novel is still up in the air at the moment, but I'm thinking it will be this one. And if so, well, hoot hoot!

edits are done!

2011-07-07T12:55:00.000-07:00

Yes, really. Really they are, and it feels so... good! Fantastic, amazing, subtle. There's still so much to do, and small revisions might occur during the formatting. But after nearly two years since first writing it, The War On Emily Dickinson is... finished.

It's like, well, having a baby. Just having a baby, still much to sort, but pregnancy is over! It's like seeing one's youngest child, or last child, out of the house. A sense of accomplishment, but they might return. Mine have, but still, it's a temporary thing. Edits come and go, but the last one, the last time I tamper with it, tweak it, rearrange and remove, that day has come and gone. And that day was today.

So, plenty remains, but as I sat with my lunch in warm but not searing sunshine, I felt an overwhelming sense of being in this day. Not considering what comes next, because this day only happens once. My first indie novel, and I'm ready to take the next step, but until I do...

Until then, I'm going to bask in this quiet moment, when I don't need to think about once again reading that novel looking for flaws. They exist, I'm sure of that, but no more will I be perusing for them. Whatever typos or bad grammar remains is just how the novel comes. Eventually one has to set it out of hands so clinging, and for me and this manuscript, this is the time.

more than halfway done

2011-07-05T19:31:00.000-07:00

Got through thirteen chapters today, the last seven for tomorrow. Then I'll copy and paste it into a new document, and start formatting...

Sort of unreal, but absolutely true. What a thing! How a book is made, one day at a time...

so, yeah, here we go

2011-07-04T18:38:00.001-07:00

The last read-though starts tomorrow. It's my only task all week, hoping to get the print version formatted by the end of the week, Sunday the target.

If that isn't the craziest thing, well, my whole life has felt alternate-reality as of late. Just add this to the list!

never say never

2011-06-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

So this last edit, uh yeah. Last edit. A last edit that took off over six hundred words! Now, what sort of last edit is that?

Probably not the last edit. But it's close, so close that I'm feeling like it's nearly here! My eldest daughter's fiance is going to fashion the cover, which is wonderful! But to take out that many words at what was supposed to be one last viewing? Perhaps there are never enough revisions, or maybe I'm just catching instances of passive voice before it's too late. It was really a few chapters in particular, middle ones that seem to have needed the knife. The end was fine, so was the beginning, and I only noted one typo! (At least there was that...)

But but but... But I want to be done. I want to get the revisions completed so I can PUBLISH this darn book! But I also know it's time in coming, time to get it done when it's supposed to be done. And whenever that is, well, that's when it is. The War On Emily Dickinson will end on its own sweet time...

the last edit

2011-06-17T11:57:00.000-07:00

Really. I mean it. After this, there's no more...

Well... Oh jeez! Maybe this is really it. Hard to imagine that after I finish this round, I'll start formatting for Lulu, then Smashwords, then... Well, then that really is it. Typos and unnecessary words be darned; The War On Emily Dickinson is really near the end.

Not a long, overly protracted war, more like an initial volley, my first independently published novel, many more to come. Perhaps two more this year alone, then probably, well, we'll see how these next few months proceed. If nothing else, I have novels in wait, in the queue, in my hands that I am ready to put into someone else's hands. After this book is released, it's a whole new ballgame.

Which is thrilling, also full of wonder. Which is also wonderful, but full of wonder implies the element of a question, uncertainty. I have no idea what will happen in my 'writing career'. It's not the norm, but it is mine, a notion I've been pleased to embrace. Whether it's in the formatting or just that here I am, ready to read through this novel ONE LAST TIME (and I really mean it), and then that's it. I'll get it all correctly spaced, t's crossed and i's dotted, upload it to a server, then receive the finished product to peruse, note any discrepancies, then that's a novel. Again with the ebook, and voila! Into the published novels folder (which awaits creation), and time for the next one.

I know indie publishing isn't for everyone, but since making the decision, I've embraced it with all guns. Or all guts. It takes a lot of guts to go an uncharted road, with no safety net, but then, I have the best support at my back 24/7. With God and my family, what more do I need? Getting to write this story, translating who Marthe and Kell are, well, it's been my pleasure. Now it's time for others to become acquainted with them, and with that, I'm off to the editing...

(The last time I'll write that for this novel... whew!)

second to last done!

2011-05-28T10:19:00.000-07:00

One doesn't punctuate 1980's with an apostrophe. It's supposed to look like 1980s.

One small consideration these edits undertook. Not much else. Now, one more round.

Good grief...

edits are back

2011-05-25T20:22:00.000-07:00

Two good writer-friends have read this story, offering critiques and noting typos. Now I'm in the middle of what will be the second to last edit, before the formatting begins. I vacillate; it's good, maybe it's so-so. But it's going to be published this summer, because it's time.

It's time for Marthe and Kell to run along, well out of my hands!

yet another look

2011-04-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

But this view is different; the last time I edited this, the plan wasn't to publish it myself. Now, it is.

That's a slightly odd feeling, but good, oh so good! And so is this novel; I fixed one typo in chapter 1, except instead of expect. How did that go unnoticed for ages, I can't imagine. But now it's correct. Maybe I'll keep track of typos in this edit here on the blog.

a change of direction

2011-03-28T10:47:00.000-07:00

Well, last Tuesday I learned I didn't make the next round of ABNA, which stung for about... ten minutes. I was surprised by that swift acceptance, in that immediately I was thrown for a loop, hard to have one's baby slapped down. But then it morphed into a small thrill that has grown over the week; my book belonged to me again! I didn't expect that to be the reaction, didn't anticipate such a quick bouncing back. Yet, here I am, and I have a plan; The War On Emily Dickinson is going to be independently published this summer, on Smashwords as an E-book, then on either LuLu or WordClay in print. The E-book version will have wide distribution, but the print copy will be only available on the POD distributor, with no ISBN number. That's due in part to cost; $75-99 for each print novel to go into wide distribution, where on Smashwords it's free, along with the ISBN. Also to satisfy my desire to have an actual NOVEL in my hands, also to offer that to anyone else eschewing E-readers. But while I'm a dinosaur on many levels, at least here I want to be progressive. And basically, E-books is where publishing is headed, whether the big houses want to admit it or not. One day books might be viewed like record albums, with fond wistfulness. My print books will be for art's sake, the E-books for general consumption, for what that's worth. Publishing my novels in this manner isn't about money, not at all. Only that I don't want to die without having expressed all that has been created. And first up is this novel, one for which I can't wait to sort!

a surprise

2011-03-02T14:41:00.000-08:00

Having entered the ABNA contest on a whim of sorts, I seemed to have cleared the pitch round in the same manner. I'm still a bit stunned, days after seeing my name in the list of 1000 having gone on in the contest, and now wait until the twenty-second of the month to learn of my fate. But not just mine, and those of the other 999 in general fiction (another 1000 in young adult); once the twenty-second comes and goes, I'll know more of what happens with this novel. For as soon as it's out of the contest, I'm going to publish it, indie-style.

I didn't know that was going to occur when I entered it, otherwise I'd have not done so. But then I decided that traditional publishing wasn't really for me, and as this is one of my favorite novels and in the best shape, this would be the initial manuscript to go. Then I learned I had made the pitch-cut, so now I wait for three weeks to pass to learn if I continue. Of course I hope I do, heck, I hope I win! Yet, that wasn't the impetus for entering, nor was it why I decided to eschew the query and agent routine. It was reading volumes of blogs and articles and reading a friend's indie novel and feeling tired of bashing my head into a ceiling of vampires and easily marketable novels. Then I felt like slapping myself, because my writing is more artsy than not, especially this non-linear account of the AIDS epidemic as the backdrop to a love story between a Catholic nurse and her lapsed Catholic bisexual boyfriend.

No vampires in that, no sirree!

But gobs of story, heaps of angst, of which I write plenty! So, it sits in the hands of Amazon Vine reviewers, a very good excerpt I believe. If it passes, I'll be thrilled, and if not, I'll be starting the path of indie publishing. As I said, of course I hope it sticks around, out of my hands for another bit of time. And if by God's grace it does happen to advance to the semis, then attracting the attention of mainstream publishing houses, sure, I'll let it fall under that umbrella.

But only this one book; the rest of my babies will stay under my care, published as I see fit. What The War On Emily Dickinson's fate will be however at this moment is unknown, another road to follow and see where it lands...

big massive edit

2011-01-24T17:32:00.000-08:00

Well, over the last few days I've been working on this novel, and have come to the conclusion that my writing/editing abilities have been ratcheted up a notch. Or twelve. Maybe closer to twenty.

I thought this novel was in pretty good shape, good enough to query it last fall. But in a burst of mental energy, I attacked it with a vengeance, and hacked 3K from an 86,000 manuscript. What was sliced was lots of tell, paragraphs that were completely superfluous, that sort of thing. And again, I am flummoxed as to how that occurs, how I don't see those sorts of needless bits. But now they are gone.

What happens to this book now? Well, not much. Just sitting, waiting. But if nothing else, it's leaner, meaner than before. And my skills as a writer and revisionist are better too.

unless lightning strikes

2010-11-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

This manuscript is officially done with queries. I heard from the last of two agents who requested more information, a no, which is part of the... game. The experience, the reality of trying to acquire an agent.

But now, at least I know.

The War On Emily Dickinson is still in the hands of a few scattered agencies, but it's been three months since the first wave of queries, two months since the second. I have another novel ready to go, even a half-decent query letter prepared. With my husband's absence this week, I'll spend all my non-noveling time getting that ready.

Then, one more shove before the end of the year!! But having two agents request a partial was my goal, it was met. Now, time to move forward...

quick query update

2010-10-03T12:05:00.000-07:00

The agent with the full manuscript took a pass, but that's okay. Just part of the process. The other agent still has three chapters; might they want the whole story?

Time will tell. I should find out sometime this month. A few straggling queries still out there, but by now, I'm assuming if any of those answer, it will be...

Well, who knows! But it's been two months for most of them, another month for the last 7 or so I sent out. I only wonder if those ones that don't respond were lost during the vacation session.

All a process, I remind myself. Just the process...

quick query update

2010-09-22T14:57:00.000-07:00

I should have written this two weeks ago. One week after that initial partial request, another query-only query heralded more good news! Another agency asked to see the novel, the WHOLE THING!

That was fourteen days ago; I've not heard a peep from either agent, only a few more straggling no thank you's, but that's fine. I only hoped for two (or three, and a third would be lovely!) positive responses, and I've reached that goal! I check my email FREQUENTLY, nothing today, but again, that's all right. Also because I've been editing the next victim, and it's pretty close.

Not that I'm a pessimist, only realistic. Just because agents asked to see the book doesn't mean anything except only that. And in the meantime, I have other fish to fry. But at least one small hope was met, and I've learned how to format a cover letter, make a correct header, all by myself!

Now, back to regularly scheduled edits...

small nice news

2010-09-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

Well, a month after the big query send out began, I've had ten responses, the last of which had been emailed only the query proper, no pages or synopsis included. And that agent wrote, asking for some pages, a synopsis, a bio too. Someone wants to see more of the book!

I had hopes with this particular agent, in that he noted he liked the eclectic. And this manuscript, well, eclectic says it all.

Now, I could be a spoilsport right off, saying the other nine no thank you's all had something to read, and said no. But just to hear someone say they were interested was such a thrill! This early, quite early here on the West Coast, out went three chapters, a one-page synopsis and my bio (in first person, hope that's okay). Now in 6-10 weeks he'll get back to me.

By then, who knows how many more rejections I'll have received? But it will be okay, because if nothing else, my query, just a little solitary query, hit a nerve. It hit someone, and if nothing else, I have that.

Bring on those nays! (A few more yeahs won't be slighted, btw...) I've a shield that will hold for a while now...

quick query update

2010-08-08T15:58:00.000-07:00

Well, twenty-three have been sent out, two rejections have been returned.

Both came the day after (I've been trickling these every couple of days, should finish the initial thirty tomorrow night.) they were sent, one was very expected, the other was sort of interesting, in that the agent said the premise was intriguing, but that they would pass.

That I sent that particular agent two chapters and a synopsis on top the query means... What? They disliked the writing, the ending; who knows!

At least they read it and got back to me in a timely manner. But also, this is how it goes, far more nays than yeahs, and I have to just take a deep breath and think; these weren't the agents I was looking for.

There aren't the agents I am looking for. (Jedi mind tricks...)

Then let the force be my guide...

(And, just while on a small downer, I didn't place in the Faulkner-Wisdom competition. Found that out right before I started querying, which took me a few days to digest. But I got back on the horse, however I think I'll avoid contests for the time being...)

query time

2010-08-03T22:21:00.001-07:00

I sent seven query letters out tonight, all but one with sample pages/chapters.

Well, here it starts. Whatever comes will be fine...

not forgotten

2010-04-15T14:10:00.000-07:00

So I've sent this story off to the Faulkner-Wisdom competition, and assumed I'd noted that here. but I hadn't.

The way I found this was receiving a comment on the last entry, from a friend who read this book. and she really enjoyed it.

I can't think of a better compliment than someone spent all day reading one's book, unable to put it down.

Anyways, so this book's not languishing, only having been entered into a contest that I won't have to consider until the end of summer.

Which is great, as well as the opinion of one Dash-lovin' reader in Thailand...

sigh...

2010-02-25T15:17:00.001-08:00

Well, I didn't make the pitch cut, so my 2010 ABNA ride is done.

Disappointing, oh yes, but eighty percent of those entered in the general literature category were going down today. And I was one of them.

I was in the middle of vacuuming when I updated the ABNA page, and the results were in, and after scanning for Scott Graham or just plain Graham...

Nada. My heart raced, my eyes rapidly scrolled down the names, but mine wasn't there.

After a few deep breaths, I then looked for others, and my friend Julie Rose made it with her novel The Hummingbird. So I have someone to root for, when the quarter finals are announced in a month's time.

As for me and this manuscript... Well, I was hoping it would be tied up in a contest for the next few months. Now... I have no idea! One part came to me just over the last few days that I need to rework, but it's a minor detail. Otherwise I feel like it's pretty solid. Do I really WANT to get out the query gun and start shooting?

Truthfully, no. One thing I wanted to spend between now and June on, besides being caught up in the drama and thrill of a contest, was my youngest daughter who graduates from high school in a few months. So that's one priority. I have three other novel ideas percolating, and one will commence this coming Monday. Plotting needs to happen with that story, what will take my attentions in the short term. But after that...

I really can't say. But I do know this is for the best, no matter what. The War On Emily Dickinson wasn't meant for ABNA. Not sure WHERE it's supposed to land, but somewhere else.

And until I know where that is, I think I'll do some stitching, ba-dump-bump!

ready to submit

2010-01-25T13:59:00.000-08:00

Just about there, once I get a few other tasks sorted. Then this manuscript will be uploaded, all the necessary pieces along with it. No clue as to what happens next, other than waiting for this day next month, to see if I made it through the pitch round. The entries will be accepted for two more weeks, but another two will be taken to read all that were entered.

In the meantime I'm so worn out by this story, I'm not even going to give it another view! If it's not ready by now, well, I've done all I can do. Other than looking over the pitch one more time, then faffing about getting the excerpt loaded correctly, The War On Emily Dickinson is going to be put to bed....

Sleep well Marthe and Kell!

encouragement

2010-01-16T20:57:00.001-08:00

Today my friend Julie gave me a great gift, some really lovely words about this book.

So, with that in hand and a pitch that is starting to maybe look sort of promising (with more work necessary, I'm sure!), I'm ready to say yes, I'm going to enter ABNA 2010, with this novel as my entry.

Whew! A huge thing for me, as I've been waffling about this for a good while, but now I've pretty much made the commitment.

And now, back to faffing about with that silly pitch!!

edits and such

2010-01-14T13:13:00.000-08:00

I've done a Stanza edit, which is really no more than reading this from my iTouch on Stanza. So handy to see one's work in what could be called a professional viewpoint, and if nothing else, I caught all sorts of mistakes, some small, some rather big!

I still missed some, as now I'm reading it aloud, and have changed this and that, the SOUND of language flowing catching in my brain that which needs help. Or is just plain wrong!

As for the contest, so far, I'll still considering. Need to work on the pitch, finishing these edits, then I'll probably look at it again on Stanza. Over and over, until there's no more time.

But I still like it, there's at least that. Not dog-sick of it yet...

timing is everything

2009-12-09T12:51:00.001-08:00

That's a truth, intrinsic to my life. Sometimes when I stop long enough to remember it, things get cracking.

As for Emily, sigh... I've been wondering what to do with this poor baby for a while now. It's been sitting, neglected, not so much in the editing, but in where it lies in the bigger picture. I've been going back and forth, trying to decide what in the world to do with it.

Maybe, maybe I've figured it out. I'm still vacillating but am starting to lean more towards one direction.

Once I decide fully, I'll set it down. For now, edits are in store!

tied up ends

2009-10-28T15:59:00.000-07:00

This story is coming along so well; I gave it another read-through, and as I did, two plot points came to my head, solving a couple of things that were niggling in my brain.

That is always so PLEASANT when it happens, answers to questions popping in at the most opportune time!

This still needs a look-over, but in the meantime, at least those loose ends no longer blow in the breeze!

second round

2009-10-20T13:37:00.001-07:00

The last two days I've spent reading/editing this story.

I think I need some new eyes to ponder it. I think it's okay, but that's so subjective.

Not much else, only that I think I'm ready for someone else to have a look.

1984

2009-10-08T10:09:00.000-07:00

When reading this over recently, it wasn't until I hit that chapter, 1984, that I felt things were really cooking with gas. As usual I knew the first bunch of chapters weren't quite there; the first one is fine. Then until 1984, they were sort of...

Missing something. What I mistakenly assumed was the number of chapters I was looking at.

1984 is the eleventh, if I counted correctly.

Right now I'm reading A Widow For One Year, by John Irving. He uses adverbs, begins sentences with conjunctions and ends them with prepositions.

Maybe when I have another look at this, 1984 won't seem so far into the story. Maybe an earlier line of demarcation will present itself.

Maybe. If NOTHING else, I know to whom this novel will be dedicated, and to whom thank you's will be afforded.

That sorted, I suppose it might be best to get on with revising the words. Up to, including and surpassing the chapter entitled 1984.

okay...

2009-10-02T11:48:00.001-07:00

After a morning of procrastination (no, really, my husband was home and I just couldn't get ANY work done!) now it's time to start rewriting this baby...

I've read through it, without changing a word (difficult, and actually I did change things then went back and set them as before), and now will ponder my notes on each chapter, see what happens.

Right. Yes, time to get to work!

after a few days' ponderings...

2009-08-30T16:47:00.000-07:00

I read the last ten chapters or so in a day, having finished other bits that needed attention.

Made notes for each chapter. Some are pretty solid.

Some need a little bit of work.

Some need more, but only due to what was written later.

All in all, it's nice. I like it. I really do.

Again, football is nearly on! Those priorities, sigh...

first read-through

2009-08-22T17:13:00.000-07:00

And for the first time (it's been a MONTH of new techniques) I'm only reading it, making notes in longhand. Especially with this manuscript, with all the tine jumps, better to read it over, THEN attack it.

But right now American football is on... Priorities, you know...

done

2009-08-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

Really now, having written the last chapter, then read it all, then read it aloud.

And I'm sort of spacey, listening to music very loudly, trying to breathe, because finishing a book, especially the way this book ended...

It really does take a lot. And this one was so compacted, so intense.

More in another day, because I need to just let this settle.

But it's done, and I feel like toast too!

Today's word count- 6,863 (split between two chapters)
Total word count- 88,608

nearly done

2009-08-12T09:15:00.001-07:00

I'm about to write the last chapter, and I just needed to set this down. All I have to do is correct the last five pages, but it's coming to the end.

Just needed to note this. Put down the end is in sight. More soon.

there is really no excuse

2009-08-11T20:32:00.000-07:00

Except to say when God says jump I say how high.

And then I expect to be given the grace in which to achieve that to which I have been called.

Presumptuous? Well, God is God for a reason. And when I got out of bed this morning at 3.30 AM already having been awake since 1 AM....

Yeah, that kind of day. But it's not bad, just in how this manuscript is going to be completed tomorrow. So that I can spend the next few days with my girls, once they are home, and then possibly serve on a jury next week.

Or whatever else God has in mind.

Writing this book has been... Compacted, spiritual, profane, deathly, memorable, sad. So many things, but also FAST. I have never written something this quickly, ever!

Not sure I want to again either. However...

When He says move, I ask where.

Then fully know my hand will be led in the right direction.

Covered 2007, 1996 and 1987 today. Leaving 1999 and 2008.

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow...

Today's word count- 13,973 (split beteen three chapters)

just crazy

2009-08-10T18:53:00.000-07:00

My husband is doing this online quiz for a book he's reading and it's so dumb that he's not offended.

I'm offended, but what do I know?

I'm starting to feel like goo, but there are only five chapters left. Today's were the end of the calm, the beginning of the storm.

Small beginnings, but parallels run throughout, which I like. I like bringing things like that back to the reader's attention.

I need to get to the store, and fold towels. Need to give a quick read through of tomorrow's chapters, I think it's... Oh, I don't remember. Today was 2001 and 1981. Big gaps there, but similar events tie those two next to one another.

That has been the fun of this book, skipping huge chucks of time, but making it so the reader doesn't feel there are twenty-some years between what they are reading.

I wonder if it will translate...

We will see...

Today's word count- 10,388 (split between two chapters)

late late late

2009-08-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

Some days feels like there is all the time in the world. Some are like this day, full of words, writing, vacuuming, laundry, getting away with the spouse for dinner, coming home and still needing to finish.

I literally just completed today's work, and it's 8.51 PM.

I'd love to say so much, but I'm toast! And I got a start early, at nearly 7 AM. But so much was accomplished today too, just how it goes.

Not that I'm whinging, only reporting the facts. Some days there aren't enough hours!

Today's word count- 8,556 (split between two chapters)

train keeps'a rolling...

2009-08-08T18:23:00.000-07:00

Getting to the middle of the story, where things start to calm a bit, which is nice in that it's not so emotionally overwhelming. Having sorted out the remainder of the plot, the order and such, it's like I can breathe a bit easier. I can just look at the outline, read what is coming, compare it to what I've written.

Some books, like Alvin's Farm and The Thorn and the Rose I wrote very loosely, with almost no outline. Only the idea in my head. Others, like this one, are quite structured, not without room to maneuver, in fact one character that has become quite important to the flow of the story was barely a name at the bottom of a page in the very early sketch of Marthe's character, and if I hadn't read that right before I started the book, it would have been lost. Yet Dave Kedayis is central to things, but he may never be seen, except in memory. I do that occasionally, include a character by name, but one that is never actually given live dialogue. Only back story, mentioned here and there.

Just the way my books are written. And come tomorrow, another chatper or two wil be added to the pile.

Today's word count- 8,340 (split between two chapters)

long day

2009-08-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

Today was quite productive, last night too. I sat down, sorted out the rest of the story, plotting what years went where. The last five were unchanged, except for a little moving of order. I had the first seven done, so the middle eight were still to be decided.

Got that completed before I went to bed, then woke this morning with two chapters to write, 1982 and 1993. I finished those around two o'clock, then Bob was home. I still had to correct mistakes, then read, then read aloud.

By six this evening I was done. Heavy stuff some of it, not all. But I just wrote and wrote, from where it comes, I can't really say, in that I don't sit down with much more than an idea. Then it tumbles, words and words.

It might sound a bit silly, but that's how it words for me. Writing and writing. Where it stops...

In in hands far better than mine. Of that I am sure.

Today's word count- 10,151 (split between two chapters)

so it is Thursday

2009-08-06T17:29:00.000-07:00

There was rain here today, a tiny bit, enough to say it rained, then watch it evaporate. Rain in August in California; and oddity of which must be blogged.

What else is there to say; I tackled 1977 and 1986 today. The writing is coming along fine, but it's compartmental. In that it's difficult to know how it's going, until I read it in total.

Sometimes writing seems like breathing, subconscious, and then you realize you're doing it, but it's the same breathing you do at night, or when you're caught up in all the rest of life. But then you take a breath, aware of the workings of your lungs, of your nose or mouth, of that air being taking in, exhaled.

Writing is the same, how it happens sometime with no thought, words falling like that rain that came today; I wasn't paying attention, then I look up, and it's coming down, light and evanescent, but still falling from the sky.

I have no idea where this story is going to land, in the big picture. I have plans for it, but maybe that's over thinking, completely erroneous. Yet, it's coming out, being created, and like breath, it's so intrinsic. Nothing I can do.

Is it like for this others? Some story that needs to be told. That's all it's about for me. Not necessarily with fancy, intricate prose, not so much as it's a story, with characters, people. Their highs, lows, fears, elations.

That's all it is.

Today's word count- 7,130 (split between two chapters)

Excerpt Monday

2009-08-05T14:47:00.000-07:00

2004

Marthe stood flanked by her sisters and mother as Kell undressed behind the curtain. His privacy wasn’t their main concern, only that he heard all they had to say.

“Well, I mean, he’s been in here now for what, three weeks? And never had a cigarette all that time,” Aurora’s grandmotherly tone announced.

“Yeah, I mean, I know he’d have paid big bucks to have us sneak in some tobacco intravenously, but God, what a pain in the ass,” Carrie clucked while tapping the back of her heels.

“Well, I think we should just tie his hands around his back, or maybe just cut ‘em off. I mean, he doesn’t really need fingers to type, just get one of those things to talk into. His next book can be one of an oral tradition.” Ces’ feet were also finding the floor in rhythm to her sister’s.

“Jesus Christ, can’t I even get out of this fu...”

“Kell, watch it. My mother’s still here,” Marthe warned.

“No, I’ll meet you at home. Come on girls.”

Aurora took her daughters’ arms, leaving Marthe the only one in the room not shrouded by hanging fabric. After Ces closed the door, Marthe pulled back the curtain, revealing Kell in his underwear, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She hadn’t viewed him vertical for a few days, maybe a week. Purposely not his nurse, she had seen him every day over the three weeks he’d been fighting pneumonia. Yet, under blankets, Kell’s body was cloaked by standard hospital issue. Now he was nearly naked, and her eyes had to steady themselves on the IV stand, the wall, light fixture, anything but the man she loved.

Three weeks had left him tapered, whittled to a figure emaciated. Nothing she hadn’t seen before, but not on Kell. A bear of a man, but no longer, only flesh over bones, baggy skin around his middle, flapping from his upper arms. He’d once weighted over two hundred pounds, but now was maybe carrying less than one fifty. At six foot three, he looked miserable.

Yet alive, and Marthe turned her eyes to his, so blue, flashing. He’d never before come so close to leaving her, yet now the tide had turned. No longer was he only positive, but coasting on the downhill slide.

She sat next to him, took his hand. “Listen, if you wanna smoke when you get home, that’s fine. It’s really up to you.”

He kissed the inside of her wrist. “I wasn’t sure if I was gonna get home. Made some promises, maybe now it’s time to pay the piper.”

She giggled. “What all’d you offer?”

“Oh, just that if I ever was able to leave, not have hospital food shoved down my gullet, I’d, uh, I’d quit.”

He said those last two words in a near whisper, but Marthe heard them, felt him tremble. “You mean it?”

“Well, a promise is a promise. Guess I’m locked in now.”

She looked to the floor, unable to view his face. For three days they hadn’t known, hadn’t been sure he’d pull through, when his status moved from a statistic of infection to what came next, the end. Marthe had thought Kell was going to meet it there, that spring, and he’d missed her birthday while unconscious. Marthe had turned forty-six while Kell stood at death’s door, but there he was, clad only in underwear, but sitting by his own power.

“You own me a birthday present,” she said, squeezing his shrunken hand.

“I know. If I quit, will that be enough?”

“No. I need chocolates.”

He laughed, and she did too. He’d bought her a box of See’s Candies since they’d come back together. Since 1997, Marthe always received a one pound box of Nuts and Chews, but that year Ces had picked it up, and Marthe had left it untouched. Wasn’t going to open it until he was home. If he’d died, she had planned to bury it with him, placing that unopened box of sweets right in his casket. He hadn’t, however. Come awfully damned close, but there he was, holding her hand, not with any real strength, but his fingers, bony and cool, were within hers, gripping as best he could.

Kell stood, shaky and not without her assistance. Standing in underpants, his blonde-gray hair thinned, the beard all white, he smiled. “All right. On the way home, stop at See’s. Then we’ll talk.”

Today's word count- 4,575 (And I am aware that it's Wednesday, just didn't have much else to say...)

dialogue

2009-08-04T19:27:00.000-07:00

Of which there was plenty today. Marthe was angry, stomping around, giving Kell the what-for. Delayed, from three years previous, but not only for him. For all she has lost, all those dying around her, and Kell only took it, aware from where her anger came.

Sometimes love is that way, allowing words to be said, because you are the only one there to take it. And we occasionally say to those we love most what we keep from others, even if it has nothing to do with the one there.

It's a pact made, to stay, not run. Kell accepted his part, remaining there, letting her vent.

Work came late today, well after ten o'clock. I had to run the girls to SFO, traffic not too bad, and then home again, where I read yesterday's chapter, then to the day at hand. 1990, no cell phones, record albums still spun. Names, so many names, but there won't be a quiz later.

Just another day tomorrow, and I have NO idea what year will be the focus. I didn't mean for it to be this way, but there are just times when you have to let go, let it happen.

Like Kell and Marthe. He didn't want to hear her words, but stayed, nonetheless...

Today's word count- 5,835

1985

2009-08-03T14:32:00.000-07:00

Today's year, what I had planned to come for the third chapter. No idea what will come tomorrow, but that's a whole day away.

Most of a day. Well, seeing I'm taking my girls to the airport in the morning, it might be in twenty-four hours before I'm done.

Today's was good, taking about love and betrayal, betrayals known and accepted. How do we do that, take what seems impossible, usually from those we love most.

Jumping from year to year is interesting, setting in place feelings and ideals, knowing they will hold for only a certain length of time. Then they break, changing into something else. Sometimes heartache, sometimes a strength unknown previously.

Depending on what year I write tomorrow, we'll see what happens for Kell and Marthe.

Today's word count- 4,344

did it end too smoothly?

2009-08-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

that's what I'm wondering. I may alter the last few sentences, leaving the reader more inclined to not set the book down quite yet. I may want this novel to have a short story feel, but I don't want it so set that there is no urgency to continue...

Otherwise it's been a good day; I didn't even get to the writing until after ten AM. That's late for me, but then I slept poorly, woke at seven, then had to WAKE up enough to write. Right now the house is quiet, and I have a piece of veggie pizza in the toaster oven, a late lunch.

Not much else. This book feels different, leisurely, or is it only the way it's being written? Not early in the morning, and I changed the order already. I wondered if that would happen. Today was supposed to be 1977, but instead I thumbed through pages, inserting first 1979, then backtracked a year, to 1978. How this will work in the grand scheme, I have no idea.

I suppose I will see...

Today's word count- 4,066

I had to look back...

2009-08-01T14:47:00.000-07:00

...to see how I began September Story; an experiment, in writing with more thought, not necessarily as hurled as usual. Because this story is probably going to be the contest entry for next year's ABNA, and as September Story was, maybe I was onto something.

However, September Story wasn't written with anything more in mind that to write it; will that make a difference? We'll see, come next year, once I enter, if Emily Dickinson goes anywhere.

In the meantime, today's work went well. I'm trying to approach each chapter as a short story of sorts; having recently read To Kill A Mockingbird, that struck me, how Harper Lee made nearly every chapter a piece that could stand on its own. Not sure of how I will do, but it's something for which I am striving. At least there is that.

Today was 1997. One day, one nurse's shift. Marthe's shift, and Ash died, Kell in the ER. This is Marthe and Kell's story, thirty years of friendship and love compacted into twenty chapters, ten years under the radar. This story was rooted from the contest, then changed, then altered again, then given a new title, but as soon as Thea can help me, I'll import the few blog entries under the previous title to this blog, then the whole kit and caboodle will be accounted for.

And I will attempt to end as few sentences as possible with prepositions, begin even less with a conjunction.

Today's word count- 4,591

PS... Thea did it!! Now all the post associated with this story are on this blog... I love my daughter!

in between....

2009-07-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

...coming up with new ideas, editing another manuscript and drinking tea, there is still this story that needs a wee bit of closure.

In that I start writing it in three days, and I yet have to decide HOW to do so.

The order of chapters, etc, etc, etc...

I completely forgot about it yesterday, until late last night. After which I had already done the first read-through of The Thorn and the Rose.

Like this project didn't exist!! Sometimes I have to smile. Otherwise I'd be thinking I have some SERIOUS short-term memory loss.

Either way, yeah. gotta have a peek at this today.

Tomorrow, at the latest...

days away

2009-07-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

...and I still have work to do. Like decide in what order this baby's gonna be written...

That's the odd bit with this story; it's not going to happen chronologically. (When am I logical anyways?) And I have or had an idea, but that may change. Well, it is going to change.

Radically or minimally? That's the question. The longer I sit and blog, the less time I have to decide.

But the first of August is this Saturday. So I have until then.

Well, theoretically. I'll start writing on Saturday, but how it stays...

Oh good grief! Blog blog blah...

some work

2009-07-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

Did some plotting this weekend, and have nearly all the chapters with a rough outline. I think there are two remaining, beginning and ending. Appropriate, and maybe later today I'll sort those.

Just a few weeks, and this begins. Big deep breath, let out slowly...

starting to gel

2009-06-26T07:13:00.000-07:00

Spent time at the write-in yesterday plotting out years. Kell's novels are coming, and one, involving monkeys, was a gift from Kate.

Today is full, travels and all. Maybe not get to it till tomorrow, but things are starting to come together. Good thing, as I'm writing this baby in about 6 weeks!

so, yes, I hope this is it

2009-06-23T09:19:00.001-07:00

I've changed the idea and title of this particular manuscript I don't know how many times. One of these days it'll be actually set in stone.

But for today, this is it. We'll see how long it lasts...

Emily Dickinson will have her revenge

2009-06-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

I may change the name of the this blog, or of the book, both.

Funny how something so intrinsic to life can't be traced, but is tied so tightly to all within a family.

Yet, I don't think we'll ever really know how the war on Emily Dickinson began.

Maybe Kell will figure it out....

in the middle of the night...

2009-06-20T07:23:00.000-07:00

...is sometimes when the ideas hit.

It was 2 AM, only five hours ago, and I woke, used the loo, got back into bed. This title has been with me for 6 weeks, the idea of a writing contest coming with it. Not a grabber of a plot, but I loved the title so much, I hadn't yet discarded it...

Now I know why. The plot is still about a writer and his beloved, a woman with strong hands. she'll need them, for what's REALLY gonna happen...

No, she's not going to wring his neck, at least not in the physical. But as I lay there, my hubby snorking and snuffling (sometimes he has breathing issues) it was all I could do to hang tight, my mind swirling with names, settings, plot points, all out of the blue, like a hammer emerged, unlocking from gray matter the seeds of a manuscript that suddenly I am DYING to write.

Sigh... No time, unless....

No, no, no more writing multiple books in one month. Especially when they are coming every other month right now. but I'm going to spend much of today, between loads of laundry, scribbling notes. Setting them in the Boll Weevils Looking for a Home folder, then letting it stew.

Still with the Pasty Cline/Bruce Springsteen laden soundtrack; Bruce for Kell, Pasty for Marthe, with varied extra tunes sprinkled through.

Stunning, how that happens, and as of late, the ideas have been just flooding, FLOODING!! Only in April I was wondering just what to do for NANO...

Now I have more ideas than I know when to write!

playlist

2009-06-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

very rough, not sure why it's Patsy vrs Bruce.

I'm sure there's a reason somewhere...

Walkin' After Midnight
I Fall to Pieces
True Love
San Antonio Rose
Strange
She's Got You
Heartaches
Imagine That
So Wrong
Why Can't He Be You
Leavin' On Your Mind
When You Need a Laugh
Back In Baby's Arms
Faded Love... all by Patsy Cline
Radio Nowhere
You'll Be Comin' Down
Livin' In the Future
Your Own Worst Enemy
Gypsy Biker
Girls In Their Summer Clothes
I'll Work For Your Love
Magic
Last to Die
Long Walk Home
Devil's Arcade
Terry's Song... all those by Bruce Springsteen, from his album Magic
Peace Dog- The Cult
Dizz Knee Land- Dada
Mother Whale Eyeless- Hilsinger & Beatty
Memories Can't Wait- Talking Heads
Dangerous Type- The Cars
Tango in the Night- Fleetwood Mac
Dust 'N Bones- Guns N' Roses
Destroyer- The Kinks
You're All I Got Tonight- The Cars
Hey Jealousy- Gin Blossoms
Everybody Loves a Loser- Man Atom
Experiment IV- Kate Bush
Swelling Admiration- Vomit Launch
From Now On- Supertramp
Fanatic- Felony
Turn It On Again- Genesis
Always- Patsy Cline

what comes from dreams...

2009-05-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

is this title. then, a few hours later, the story. thanks to a picture of the late John Candy and a photo of hands that are far more stunning than you can imagine.

that, and some rather snarky hoo haa in a writing contest. one should be considerate, because you know...